I sit in the office with my head down, trying desperately to keep the tears forming in my eyes from spilling out. My foot is throbbing and I’m only about halfway through a short shift. The next three hours seem daunting, a long, dark expanse that has no end.

So went my first day back at work yesterday. I knew it was going to be difficult, but it was at least three times more challenging than I thought. I have a job where I’m on my feet all day. If I’m lucky, I can squeeze in a break to eat something at some point during my shift, but it’s not a guarantee that I get break time, which is a serious downside to being in management. The whole work day was a disaster from the moment I walked through the door. None of my applications worked properly, and I couldn’t even use my employee number to clock in. As annoying as those issues were, they were the least of my problems, and I didn’t even work a full shift.
Time: 3:55 p.m.; Pain Level: 0
I finally got the time clock to accept my punch and I was ready to start my day. I was a little apprehensive, but ready to see how things would go.
Time: 4:43 p.m.; Pain Level: 2
I was feeling a little pain at this point, but I was able to ignore it if I didn’t think about it.
Time: 5:36 p.m.; Pain Level: 6
I tried in vain to sit down and prop my foot up for a few minutes. The minute I hit the chair, I got paged. There was no more ignoring the pain. I was limping by this point in the evening.
Time: 7:30 p.m.; Pain Level: 8
I was hungry so I heated up my dinner. I was able to sit for about 15 minutes without being interrupted, which was a welcome break. Severely limping and moving very slowly. At this point, it was more like dragging my leg behind me than limping.
Time: 9:10 p.m.; Pain Level: 8
I couldn’t focus on working any more. Each step was more excruciating than the last. It wasn’t busy, so I took advantage and sat down for another 15 minutes with my head down, desperately trying not to cry from the pain.
Time: 10:29 p.m.; Pain Level: still 8
I was never more grateful to be able to punch out early and get home. I needed a painkiller for the first time since my surgery day. I was so glad I still had a full bottle on the counter at home.
Today I’ve been icing off and on all day, trying to keep some of the pain and swelling down. I was in more pain last night than I was before surgery. If it’s that severe again tomorrow, I’m going to have to call my surgeon’s office and ask their advice. I’m not about to ruin this repair, but I need the cash flow again. It’s not even just my foot that hurts. Most of my lower body is sore from walking with a limp all night, especially my left hip. I know I did a terrible job at work last night, but I’m hoping for some understanding from my boss for the next few weeks. I work hard and I always try my best, and I hope that counts for something, even if I can’t do 100% right now. I’m trying to overcome the extreme frustration I feel at this point because I know it’s only temporary. I’ve been leaning heavily on God lately, and He’ll see me through this.












