Month: July 2019

A Spark of Hope

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, SurgeryLeave a comment

It’s been a couple of weeks since I started ASTYM, and it really seems to be helping. My pain at work is unchanged, but at least it doesn’t hurt as much to bike as it did before. I think work is the single biggest thing holding back my recovery, to the point where I’m going to have to start looking for a less strenuous job. Every time I start to feel better on my days off, the pain always comes back the next time I work. I can’t handle that many hours on my feet without breaks anymore. I’m so tired of living in pain every day and limping around the house when I get home.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like things are looking up. I started working on some new exercises at physical therapy which should help me to run and jump again someday. It’s amazing how hard it is to jump! My left leg does all the work, but I’m hoping the right one will step in eventually and remember how to do it. I think it probably needs a little more strength first, but I’ve been diligently doing everything at home. I’m probably one of the few people who actually likes to do the home program based on what I’ve heard other people say. I like putting on some music really loud (usually country or jpop) and working on fixing my body. It’s a half hour of my time well spent every day. On my days off work, I’ll do the program a second time before bed. If it will get me walking normally again, then running, then playing tennis, how could I not enjoy doing my homework? I’ve dealt with this injury for over two years, and while I had hoped recovering from surgery would be a little faster than it’s been, at least I’m feeling like I’m making some progress again.

My other concern as of late is that I think I found out what’s been wrong with the outside of my right ankle: sinus tarsi syndrome. I have to discuss it with a doctor, but all the symptoms match: pain on the outside of the ankle, swelling, trouble walking on uneven surfaces, degenerative changes at the subtalar joint and fluid collection (evidenced on my MRI from last summer), pain turning my foot inward… I’m not dumb enough to diagnose myself on the internet, but reputable sources say it’s often misdiagnosed, so it’s worth asking about so I can get started treating it if I do have it.. It also can weaken the Achilles tendon, which might account for some of my trouble healing. Here’s a link to the site I found with extensive information about it: Physiopedia: Sinus Tarsi Syndrome. It’d be nice to know for sure what the problem is because it’s holding me back as much as my Achilles tendon is, if not more.

Well, that’s all I have for tonight. I don’t have physical therapy this coming week because my therapist is out of the office and the other one doesn’t do ASTYM, but I’ll be picking back up again on the 29 of this month. Until next time, stay well!

A Wild Ride

On By LeraIn Cycling, LifeLeave a comment

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotion. I had my follow-up appointment with my surgeon yesterday, and I really don’t know what to think. I told him I was concerned how it was healing, and he said the same things he said last time: that this kind of recovery takes up to a whole year to be 100% better and to just be patient. He didn’t seem concerned about it at all, which I know I should take for a good sign, but that would be so much easier to do if I didn’t feel like my body was falling apart. I called my physical therapist after the appointment to discuss the appointment like he asked me to do, and he agreed to let me try a full course of ASTYM, which is 6-10 treatments, so I’ll be doing that until mid-August. I finally feel like I might have some hope back to reach my goals, which is a feeling I haven’t had in about two months. I had one of my best cycling weeks last week, which is still less than half of what I should be able to do, but it was about 20 miles more than the week before. I actually went out 5 days last week instead of just 3, and that was after only one ASYTM session! I’m hoping that with a full course of it, I can be back out a lot more. If I can break 100 miles on a work week, I’ll be thrilled, but right now I’d be happy with 75. I’d be really excited to get tennis back this year, but I know better than to push too hard too soon.

I want to take a minute to recognize my amazing physical therapy clinic. I’m not naming them to protect my privacy here, but I really would be lost without them. They’ve been so wonderful to work with, and they’re cutting me a special break to help get me back to where I need to be. I didn’t expect any special treatment, but I’m so much more grateful than I can ever express in words. Just having the chance to try something else means so much to me, because I’m not giving up until I can say I’ve tried everything.

Discouraged

On By LeraIn Life, SurgeryLeave a comment

Maybe one day I’ll have something positive to post on here, but that day is not today. As you all know, I was anxiously awaiting my return to physical therapy. It did not go well, however. I had high hopes at the beginning when my therapist was discussing things with me and then he tried something new called ASTYM on the scar over my Achilles tendon. It was painful, but now that it’s calmed down, I think it really helped. The bad thing is, though, that I’m apparently not doing any more sessions. He told me that he didn’t know what else to do for me because I should be farther along in my recovery by now. He wants me to talk to him after I see my doctor next week and tell him what the doctor says, and that if the doctor had any suggestions then he would try them.

I feel like my therapist is giving up on me. Whether that’s true or not, I have no way of knowing, of course, but that’s what it feels like. I don’t know why he did the ASTYM for the first time today if he wasn’t planning for me to come back. If I’m not where I should be, then I want him to help me get there. I just don’t see things getting better working at home after how the past month of that went. It’s not enough. At least when I was regularly attending physical therapy sessions, I felt like I was making progress. I don’t feel like I got anywhere working alone. Just because I can do some stretches, squats, and lunges at home, doesn’t mean everything is going fine. I wanted to go back to that clinic because things went well when I had therapy there before, but now I just don’t understand what’s happening. I just want help getting back to normal function. Even just one guided session every week would be fine with me where my therapist could keep working on my scar tissue and give me more challenging things to do. Most importantly, I need help preventing some of the new issues I’ve had from getting worse. I’m tired of the hip pain, and afraid of what’s going to happen to my left Achilles tendon if I can’t get the right side in shape.

One day I might look back at this difficulty as just a small bump in the road, but right now it might as well be a huge wall. I was crying as soon as I got in the car after my appointment today, and spent most of the morning tearing up every time I thought of it. All of the goals I set for my recovery are slipping farther and farther away and seem so out of reach right now. I’m not signing up for any bike events when I can only ride a third of the distance I would need to (and that’s on a good day). I wanted to run a 5k by the end of summer, but honestly I’d be happy with a mile, or even 100 feet at this point. And tennis… I miss tennis so much, but how can I play tennis if I can’t run? I also planned to sign up for martial arts (probably aikido) this fall/winter, but I can’t do that if I can’t get my foot moving right or I’d just injure it more. I need to get back to what I enjoy, and I need the ability to do whatever activities I want to do.

All I can do right now is just wait for my appointment with my surgeon on Monday and report back to my physical therapist and cross my fingers that he’ll try something new. I really don’t want to go to a different clinic, but it might come down to that. I’m not living the next 50 years of my life feeling the way I feel now. I refuse to accept that this is the best I can hope for. Just because I seem to have hit a plateau doesn’t mean it won’t get better. I need someone fighting in my corner.