Observations of an Overweight Runner

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Running is one of those things that people either love or hate. There seems to be no middle ground (like pineapple on pizza, to which the proper answer is love). I was firmly in the ‘hate it’ category until a little over a year and a half ago. I wanted to take some time to share some observations and experiences I’ve had since becoming a runner, and hopefully encourage those of you who are thinking about running, but aren’t quite sure you want to yet, to give it a try. Running is hard, and it’s really hard if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. I’m looking to lose 72 more pounds, after having already lost 66. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get there. I had always thought running was impossible for me. However, it is absolutely possible to be successful at running if you want it badly enough.

Who Wants to Run Anyway?

I started out losing weight by biking, which I absolutely adore. Back then, I never saw myself as someone who wanted to be a runner. NEVER. I had loathed it since being forced to run track laps in high school gym class, and that made me never want to run again. So, what changed? A couple of years ago, I had Achilles tendon surgery and started working with a physical therapist who made one of my recovery goals running 20 minutes pain free. My PT helped me choose a plan to follow, and while I hated it at first, a few weeks passed and I started looking forward to running. He eventually inspired me to try running a 5k after telling me about his experiences. It was something I had always thought sounded impossible, but it was a good goal for me to work toward. I followed the None to Run plan to get started running, which starts with very short run intervals in between longer walk intervals and builds you up to full out running for 25 minutes over the course of 12 weeks. This was a great way to start, and it really helped ease me in. It was hard for me to run 30 seconds when I first started, but consistency leads to progress, and before I knew it, I was running longer than I ever had in my entire life.

The First Step Truly is the Hardest— But it Gets Easier

The hardest thing about beginning running was taking that first step. It can feel like a huge barrier to cross. I was intimidated to be seen out in public running when I first started. I felt like the whole world was staring at me and judging me while I lugged my body down the street 3 days a week. It was really uncomfortable for me in those early days. I started out running very early in the morning or after dark in the evening to minimize how many people might see me. I was so afraid of someone saying something rude to me or making fun of me because I couldn’t run 30 seconds without feeling out of breath. It took many months to feel comfortable running and not worrying about what someone might think or say. It turns out all that worry was for nothing, though. I’ve encountered so many supportive people in the community on my runs. On many occasions, I’ve had strangers drive by me while I’m running down the street or pass me at the park and tell me I’m doing great or to keep up the hard work. Hearing those words of encouragement really lifts my spirits, especially on a day where I’m struggling.

Support Goes a Long Way

I absolutely don’t mind running alone, but running with other people is amazing. I started running the None to Run plan with one of my closest friends, and we met once a week or so until she moved out of the area. It was awesome sharing our triumphs, and having each other to lean on when we struggled. After she moved, I had no other running friends. I was told about a local running group by my awesome doctor, and I eventually worked up the courage to join. It was a game changer for me. I felt really out of place and slightly embarrassed that first day walking into the park because everyone looked so fit and I clearly wasn’t, but they welcomed me with open arms. I immediately had a built-in support system of people I could ask for advice and celebrate new milestones with. I never would have met any of my running friends otherwise. Even if a running group isn’t for you, I highly suggest a running buddy. It’s nice to have someone who understands what it’s like.

Judgement From Those Who Should be Helping

The hardest part of being an overweight runner is the judgement from the medical community. Most doctors I’ve worked with have been great, but there are always some that I know don’t believe me when I say I’m active 5-6 days a week. Last year, I saw a specialist for an injury that was still bothering me several months after it started, and even though I explained that it was from running, he told me I needed to join a gym, lose weight, and the pain would get better if I worked hard enough at it. I restated that I was a runner and cyclist, and the only thing he had to say to that was that he was glad to hear it because it would help me lose weight. It was at that point that I started to cry, right there in the office. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it. His assumption that I was lazy and didn’t try to better my health despite having stated otherwise was hurtful. That’s not the only example I have, but I think it’s enough to illustrate my point. Now, I’m not saying suggesting weight loss isn’t an answer in the long term, but for an acute injury, I deserve the same treatment for it that someone who isn’t overweight would get. It’s really discouraging when some of the people you turn to for help treat you like you aren’t telling the truth because they think you can’t possibly be active at a larger size. Weight loss isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and consistency, and it’s extremely difficult to keep on track if you’re struggling with injuries that are limiting what you can do.

Clothes Do Not Make You, but Do Help the Confidence

Turning to something not quite so serious, the struggle to find good workout clothes in extended sizes is real. They exist, of course, but I’m talking about clothes that aren’t black or another dark color that are also affordable. A lot of stores don’t even carry extended sizes in their building, or carry only a handful and relegate the rest to online only. Hopefully this will change someday. Clothes obviously aren’t the most important thing about working out, but everyone wants to wear something that makes them feel comfortable and confident. Dressing in something that makes me look and feel amazing gives me a boost throughout my workout. It always struck me as odd that society at large wants overweight people to work out, but makes something as basic as finding quality, affordable activewear in bigger sizes resemble a scavenger hunt. Not only thin people want to work out! If I could magically just change my size, believe me, I would. However, reality dictates that I start where I am, not where I want to end up.

Imposter Syndrome at its Finest

Something else that I struggle with as an overweight runner is imposter syndrome. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I inspire them, and I never quite know how to react. Of course it feels amazing to hear something like that, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m qualified to inspire anyone. I’m just out there doing something I enjoy doing and trying to get better at it. There are many, many people better at running than I am. I’m nowhere near hitting the goals I set for myself this year. I’m not even “average” at running yet, and I can’t wait for the day that I am. I run so slowly that some people can walk faster than me (here’s lookin’ at you, speedwalker who beat me at my last 5k). I don’t have any special talent for running and I’ll never be the best. I just show up and give it my all. The truth is that I’m just too stubborn to quit.

One Last Word

I know that some of these things aren’t just specific to overweight runners, but as someone who still struggles with feeling insecure about my running, I hope I can help someone else not feel so alone. The hardest part about running isn’t the physical challenge, but the mental one. I have no regrets since I became a runner, even though it’s been a tough journey. I love it so much more than I ever thought would have been possible, and it’s really changed my life. I’ve gained confidence, met a lot of awesome people, and know that each and every effort I make takes me one step closer to my goals, even if it isn’t outwardly visible. I look forward to improving much more and finally celebrating the day I can run 5k in less than 40 minutes.

Feelin’ the Heat

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Just a quick update now that summer has finally arrived in Michigan! I got so used to running in the cold that the 80 degree temperatures have been hard to get used to. I’m working in run walk intervals while I acclimate to them, and I have to tell you that running 8 minutes in the heat is hard. However, I’ll get used to it and hopefully be back to trying to beat my PRs again. I’ve been a bit inconsistent with my running the last couple of weeks because of my work schedule, so that’s not helping either. I have two months until my 5k race, and I really want to run it in less than 40 minutes. No matter what happens at that race, though, I’ll have a good time ^__^

“Back” to Pain

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey y’all! It’s been a few weeks since I posted an update. My running hasn’t been progressing too well since I ran that 5k distance last month. I was talking to a much more experienced runner about it and he said it might be wise to back off the training a bit. Having hit two PRs last month left my body feeling tired, and I began struggling to complete a run. Even a mile left me feeling like I was breathing too hard. I switched back to run/walk intervals for the time being—5 minute run and 2 minute walk. I’m going to do that for a bit and gradually increase the running time back up, first to 8 minutes, then to 10 minutes, and keep my 2 minute walk breaks for those new times and see how my body responds. I’m going to increase my total workout time from 35 minutes to 50 minutes gradually with the help of the run/walk intervals, and reassess after that. In a few weeks, I also want to add a 4th run day where I simply run a mile and try to get progressively better times.

That said, I haven’t run in 8 days, unless you count the 3 minutes that I attempted Tuesday. My left back started hurting near my lower ribs 5 days ago, and I just assumed it was a strain of some sort since it hurt with movement or deep breathing. I was content with just treating it on my own until the pain worsened and I felt like I was being stabbed. I made an appointment with Dr. S and he said it could basically be a dozen different things since there’s no other symptoms (he also told me it was too early in his day to have such a tricky problem 😂). I had a test done to rule out kidney stones and that was normal, so for now I’m trying several days of prednisone to see if that calms the pain down any. If so, I’m good to go, and if not, we discussed potential next steps. Hopefully the next time I have to see him will be at the 5k race we’re both doing in August and not sooner. I want to get back to my training plan!

Even though it hurts too much to run this week, I can still bike since once I’m in position, my back doesn’t really move. I rode for over an hour today and it felt glorious to get outside and move. The only bad thing is that a bracket on my bike seat broke in a place that can’t really be replaced without major hassle. I have it duct taped in place for now since it isn’t going to be a safety issue when I’m sitting on it, but I did order a new seat tonight. Chances are if one part broke, others are weak. My bike gets a lot of use! I also need to get a new tire for the back at some point, which in hindsight I should have also ordered tonight. Oh well.

Lastly, I baked some cookies for my physical therapy clinic and dropped them off this morning. It’s been six months since I’ve had to go there, which is the longest I’ve stayed away in the last two years! That’s amazing for me! It’s all thanks to them always going above and beyond to help. If they hadn’t suggested Frankenshoe (getting a 1 inch full sole lift built into my everyday shoes and my running shoes to even out my leg lengths), I doubt I would have gone this long without a major issue. I’m so grateful to have been able to work with people who care so much.

Breaking Records

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey guys! Just going to make this a quick update today, but I’ve been working hard on a post I’ll be publishing soon titled ‘The Reality of Being an Overweight Runner’. I’m editing it and trying to get it worded just right.

Things have been going pretty good lately. For once I’m not struggling with any major issues. I’m not 100% at the moment, but doing better than last year so far. My biggest issue has been struggling with my asthma during my workouts. It’s not bad enough to stop my runs, but it does slow me down having to walk in the middle and use my inhaler.

Despite all that, I managed to get my best 5k time today! 46’19” isn’t going to win me a real race, but it’s more than 3 minutes faster than last time! I’m trying my best to run that distance in under 40 minutes by August, so at least I’m making some progress! I’m hurting a little more than usual, but typically I run for 2 miles, so it’s not unexpected. I’m trying to keep increasing my distance so 3 miles is my usual run, but it’s hard balancing what I want vs. what my body is happiest with. It’ll take me several months to get there, but that’s okay if I can run without all the injuries from last year.

Here’s a photo from my run at 7 am! I love early morning runs and watching the sunrise ❤

Baby Steps

On By LeraIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Everything has been going pretty well lately. I’ve been running three times a week again and my body is mostly happy with that. I’ve been having a little trouble with my hamstrings on my right side for the last couple of weeks, and I pulled something back there— maybe a glute? I don’t know exactly what it is I hurt, but it bothers me when I turn my leg inwards. It doesn’t seem to bother me when I run, so I’m going to go ahead and assume I’m safe to do that for now.

Today’s run went really well, and I got a new PR for both 1 mile and 2 miles! My first mile was 13’15” and the second mile was 13’47”, so my 2 mile run today took me 27:07 with an average pace of 13’31”! That’s really good for me! I almost don’t believe it’s true. My ultimate goal is to run a 5k under 40 minutes, but right now 2 miles is exhausting. However, I think I’ll be there at some point this year!

Milestone Achievement

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Guys! I finally did it! I ran the whole 5k distance! It was the first time I was ever able to hit that distance without needing to walk! I went out for my run on Wednesday intending to do just 2 miles, and when I hit that mark I started thinking to myself how amazing it would be to be able to say I finally ran 5k. I wasn’t hurting or out of breath and decided to go for it. However, I was completely exhausted and my body was starting to hurt before I finished (especially the area next to my kneecap), but I knew I only had to last another half mile at that point, so there was no way I was giving up. I focused on the music I was listening to (Arashi, because they will always be my favorite), and told myself it was only about two more songs. I made my final turn and knew I had it. The only traffic light downtown changed to red on me when I approached, so I made a quick turn and crossed the street a little ways down and then went back to the direction I was originally running. No way was I going to let that light stop me when I was that close. I felt so amazing when I finished that distance that I took a selfie right there at the side of the road to commemorate the moment! I had never run that far. My longest distance to date had been 2.17 miles back in November, so I really surprised myself. My time was absolutely terrible (49:27), but the most important thing is that I know I can do the distance now and my mind will have a harder time convincing me that I can’t. I have a number as a starting point, and as I work on improving my running, it will get better. I’m not going to be out running that distance every time I run since that’s the equivalent of a “long run” for me, but I’ll aim to do it once every 7-10 days for now until my fitness improves more.

Quick Check-in March 2021

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Forgive me for the lack of updates lately, but there hasn’t been too much to tell. We got hammered with a ton of snow in February, which put a damper on being active as much as I would have liked. All things considered with my history of injuries, it probably didn’t hurt to be forced to take things easy. I only got out to run 3 times last month, and I biked 5 times, so it wasn’t exactly the kind of month where I moved closer to any goals.

I’m ready for winter to be over and the warm weather to come back. It’s been so hard on my asthma to run in the winter. I’ve managed to avoid any major issues, but there have been days where I wondered if I needed extra treatment. Luckily I’ve had a lifetime of managing asthma exacerbations and know that I can safely take an extra dose of my inhaler if need be. That works well for me the vast majority of the time. I haven’t had a bad exacerbation in about a year, which (surprise) was brought on by running in the cold. Unfortunately I don’t have a choice about that. I don’t have a gym membership, nor do I have equipment at home, so the outdoors is my gym. It’s far better than sitting around for 4 months and not doing anything. I honestly don’t know if I could be a treadmill runner. I guess I just like being outside too much.

Injury-wise, I don’t know how I’m doing. My hip flexors are still bothering me enough that I worry about them, but not so much that they’re holding me back. I won’t really know how bad they are until I run consistently again. I’m going to keep it easy in March and slowly increase my distance from 2 miles to 3. Something else that’s been bothering me off and on is my knee. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with it, but it’s been clicking and has been mildly sore at times since November. It isn’t limiting what I can do, but I worry that I’m causing damage. I asked my doctor about it just to be sure I was safe to keep running, and he thinks it might be my kneecap not tracking correctly, or a meniscus issue. We aren’t doing anything about it unless it gets worse, so for now I’m diligently keeping detailed notes in my training journal like always. It’s likely related to my leg length discrepancy, and I was hoping Frankenshoe would do a little more for me than it has been. It’s been helping with some of the pain, especially on my left hip and SI joint, but I thought that by now I’d be seeing more improvement with the other trouble spots. I’ve been using it since the end of December, but it may just take more time. One thing I wish I knew is why my leg length discrepancy wasn’t treated as a child. A one inch difference is a lot. I asked my parents about it and they said the specialist they took me to every six months only ever wanted to do x-rays to keep an eye on it. I was planning to ask the orthopedist I was seeing, but he got all judgmental and somehow forgot I was a runner despite being there for a running injury (https:/lifesaride.home.blog/2020/11/16/feeling-like-giving-up/). Eventually I’ll ask my primary care doctor for a referral to someone, but for now I’ll let him manage anything I may need. Obviously I’m not going back to the orthopedist I was seeing after how he treated me, and the sports medicine appointment I had in the summer was a joke (all talking and no actual poking and prodding my injuries, wanting me to do PT which I had already been trying, and come back in 6 weeks—yeah, didn’t see the point in going back there either).

Anyway, I kind of started ranting a little, but I can’t help it. I’m sure one day all of these struggles will fade into the background. Until then, I’ll just keep trying to do my best like I always do!

Send Out Good Energy

On By LeraIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

The other night when I stopped for gas, someone asked if I had a few bucks to help him put gas in his car. I always say no when people ask, but since I was having such a bad week, I thought I’d try to do something to make someone’s day better than my last few were. I put $6 on the pump for him to fill up and he was on his way after thanking me profusely.

Well, today an elderly lady needed help carrying a couple of cases of water to her car, so I ran them out there for her, and she pulled out a $10 bill. I refused a couple times, but she kept insisting, so I finally obliged and accepted.

Moral of the story: Put good energy out there into the world and it will come back to you ^_^

Slight Hint of Imposter Syndrome

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

I’ve been running twice a week since New Year’s Day and it’s been going well! I’m so thrilled! I think the combination of that longer break and Frankenshoe has really been helping. I’ve increased my distance to 1.5 miles. I told y’all I was going SLOWLY this time. I’m happy I didn’t have to start back with walk/run intervals. There’s nothing wrong with them, and I’ve used them every time I’ve come back from a break except for this time, but it just feels like I achieved some form of conditioning in November that I could start back running a mile straight through. I’m very, very slow—running about a 15:00 pace right now, but slow running is still running. That will improve as I get back into the swing of things. Once I feel safe adding a third run each week (shooting for early February), I’m going to make that run speedwork to help accelerate my pace. So far I’m not worrying about it since my goal is to run pain free, and that’s the case so far. I was a little worried after Friday’s run, though. I didn’t hurt at all during the run, but had a little soreness on my cool down walk home on the side of my left hip. I stretched and that sat for ten or fifteen minutes, then when I got up, my right hip flexors felt like they didn’t want to support me. They didn’t feel painful per se, but they felt uncomfortable. It eventually wore off, but that’s how it seemed to start last time. I’ve been taking it easy with the biking and trying to do more yoga/walk days on days I don’t run, so we will see how it goes tomorrow. I haven’t felt anything concerning all weekend, so I think it should be okay.

Something that I wanted to touch on a little today was imposter syndrome. If you haven’t heard of it before, basically it describes feeling less competent that other people think you are. I’ve heard many times over the last 6 months or so that people think I’m inspirational with my fitness. It’s so hard for me to hear that and believe that they’re talking about me. I’m the least athletic person in my running group and among most of my friends. I still have such a long way to go. I’ve lost almost 70 pounds already, and still need to lose another 70 to be down to the heavier side of a healthy weight. I made no progress on those numbers last year, but I am more fit than I was at the start of 2020 despite that. Even so, I never know quite how to feel when people tell me I inspire them. Of course it feels great to hear a compliment, but I almost feel like I haven’t earned it yet. Just today the most athletic person I know told me my dedication to running is inspirational and that he thinks about that when he’s struggling with his own runs. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special. I’m just too stubborn to quit running because I’ve been enjoying it so much. I know this struggle is not unique to me, and I’m sure many of you can relate. I’m going to try to be less hard on myself about it, because the truth is that I’ve worked hard. I’ve had to push goals back farther that I wanted to, but I’m still at least moving forward little by little, and that’s better than quitting when things get hard.

New Year, New Return to Running

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey! It’s been a while since I made a fitness post. I haven’t run regularly since November’s 5k. I took two weeks off initially to let my hip flexors heal and tried a short run (1 mile), which didn’t go well. I had pain again right away. I waited three days and tried another mile run and the same thing happened. I decided it would be best to give my injury some more time to heal and took the rest of the year off. Finally, after nearly 6 weeks, I ran again on New Year’s Day. I didn’t have any pain with that run! I biked 7.5 miles the day after and was feeling some discomfort in my hip flexors, so I took Sunday off and tried another run Monday, and that run didn’t irritate those tendons. I’m really hoping that I’m finally in the clear now and I can get back to running.

Even though my hip flexors didn’t hurt yesterday, I had a rough start to my run. About 5 seconds in, I fell flat on my front side and ripped half the skin off my knee. The whole knee has a huge blue bruise on it now. It was super embarrassing to fall like that right on the side of the road were everyone could see me. I blame my Frankenshoe. Let me explain.

Frankenshoe is what I’m calling my right shoe now that it has a 1 inch full sole lift added to make my left and right legs the same length. It’s heavier than my left shoe, and with the increase in height, it’s been taking some getting used to walking in it. My PT told me to walk in it for a week before I tried running, but I guess I wasn’t quite used to it since I fell yesterday. I still need to take my dedicated running shoes in to get a lift added to the right shoe of that pair, but I was waiting to see how things would go. It was about $80 to get the shoe modified, so I didn’t want to rush into it if it wasn’t going to help, but it looks like it will end up being worth it. Again, I don’t want to get ahead of myself because I’m still trying to adjust to the shoe, but my body seems to be happier than before. I’m going to keep my fingers crossed!

The plan for January is to just run 2 times per week. Next week I’m also going to run just 1 miles each time and then increase the distance a little at a time (1/4 – 1/3 of a mile) every week or two and see how my body responds. With any luck, I’ll be able to get back to three running days each week by the middle of February. I’m trying to go slow at the start so I don’t have continuous trouble again. I haven’t been able to catch a break this past year, and it’s high time the trend ends!