Tag: wellness

PT, Round 5

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, runningLeave a comment

It’s been a whirlwind of a month, but I feel like things are looking up. I saw my primary care doctor for my knee, and he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on. He said it could be a few different things based on my exam. When I called to make the appointment my knee was feeling worse than the day I actually had the appointment, so it wasn’t giving me its usual problems. My doctor told me I always make things difficult (jokingly, of course), but I can’t help it my body didn’t read the instruction manuals. It always shows problems in weird ways. Since he wasn’t sure, he told me he wanted someone else to look at my knee. I appreciated his honesty about it. He told me he’d contact someone he knew in sports medicine and see if I could be seen.

The next business day I got a call from a sports medicine office to schedule an appointment, and they got me in within a week and a half. I really like the doctor I saw there. He was great at explaining everything to me, very friendly, and he took my goals into consideration to come up with a plan for me. It turns out I have runner’s knee. The plan was to start physical therapy for 4-6 weeks and cut back on my workouts. So now I can only run two days a week for half my usually time and bike one day. I asked if I could still do the 5Ks I was signed up for and he said it was fine if I took a few days off afterward.

I started physical therapy a few days ago and will be going three times a week. I get to see the PT I’ve always seen, so he knows my weird problems already. My femur is twisted internally, my tibia is twisted externally, and my foot points out on my affected leg. He’s trying to correct that as much as possible while we work to build strength in key areas. Yesterday’s session has my muscles sore, but that means it was an effective workout for me. I’m hoping things calm down soon and I can enjoy some more time running pain free in the new year!

What Makes Someone an Athlete?

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, runningLeave a comment

What Makes Someone an Athlete?

I’ve been thinking about the answer to this question for the last couple of days, after someone told me I was an athlete. It really got me thinking about the term, because I’ve never thought about myself in that way before. So, like any time life throws me something I need or want to think over, I got my bike out and pondered it over the course of an hourlong ride, and then I went home and did some journaling regarding the topic. I’m curious to know what everyone else thinks, but this is my take.

I have always thought of athletes as people who are good at sports, and even most dictionary definitions will say the same thing. By that view, I certainly don’t feel like an athlete. I run and bike because they bring me joy. I’m nowhere near good enough to ever win an official event, and I probably never will be. I sign up for 5Ks because I enjoy them. I lack even the most basic traits of athleticism. I’m still striving to get “in shape”, and I’m not particularly coordinated (I trip over my own feet more than I should). You can see why I have a hard time thinking of myself as an athlete based on those views, but is it the right view?

When I first started running, I read a lot of articles about the sport, especially if it was targeted to a beginner. Some of the articles made it clear that even people who partake in running just a few days a week should think of themselves as an athlete and try to keep that mindset at the forefront of their minds during a workout. Thinking back to those articles, I asked myself a few other questions:

1. Is a team really necessary to be an athlete, or is competing against yourself sufficient?

2. Do you need to excel at your sport (team or otherwise), or is committing and showing up enough?

3. Can you be an athlete without being athletic?

I came up with some answers after talking it over a bit with my aunt and thinking about how much I’ve changed in the last two years. I think being an athlete has more to do with mindset than physical abilities in many ways. Undertaking and finishing a training program for whatever your goals may be takes dedication and sacrifice. If you’re someone who sets goals and strives to improve each day, that makes you an athlete. It often means changing your lifestyle to meet the demands of your chosen activity, reorganizing your priorities, and getting out of bed each morning without making excuses. The determination and drive to keep going when things get tough definitely define an athlete, so I don’t really think it matters what your activity is or if you choose to compete. Your sport becomes a part of you that you can’t do without. I can easily identify with the above characteristics, and I’m sure many of you can, too.

Maybe more of us should start thinking of ourselves as athletes. Maybe it’s time to do a mental overhaul instead of just a physical one. That old adage “fake it till you make it” has some truth to it. It can be hard to change your mindset, but maybe “faking it” is what’s needed until you start believing it.

Run For Your Life— A Halloween Event

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey, y’all! It’s been a while again. I’ve been doing pretty well with my running and biking despite my knee giving me some troubles. It’s been bothering me off and on all year, so it isn’t anything major. However, it’s been more and more of an issue lately, so I’m hoping to get it looked at and figure out what I need to do to fix it since the pain won’t stay gone. I don’t want to end up with any long-term problems.

That said, this month I did do another 5k race! I ran it with a couple of friends, so of course I had a good time. One of my friends did the 10k earlier in the day and the 5k 2 hours later (massive respect for her taking on that challenge), and the other ran the 5k with me. We tackled it together in run/walk intervals and I did a lot better with this one than I did at the race in August. It was Halloween themed, and I was planning to wear a costume, but I didn’t have enough time to make one and I didn’t feel like buying one, so I just made an orange/black/purple tutu to wear. I ended up glad not to have a costume after all because it was so humid. It had rained until an hour before the race, so everything was all steamy. The weather cleared and there was even a little bit of sun peeking through the clouds here and there, but I was glad it wasn’t full-on sun or it would have been even hotter. The race was held at an orchard, so on the way to pick up our race bibs and shirts, we had to walk through a field on a hill. It was muddy from the rain and I rolled my ankle three times by the time I got my bib, walked stuff back to the car, and walked to the starting line. Thankfully, it never rolled far enough to actually cause pain, so that was very lucky.

I wasn’t feeling nervous before this race like I did before every other one I’ve done. One of my friends rode to the race with me and we stopped at Starbucks before we hade the half hour drive. I guess the caffeine really helped! My main goal this race was to look good in my race pictures, but I managed to look like I was dying in just about every single one. There were photographers at miles 1 and 2, and at the finish line. The only picture I look kind of good in was the finish line one, and I think the fog machine helped in that one to add some atmosphere in. I at least look happy, but I still look a whole lot more exhausted than I felt. I’ll just have to try again at one of the other races that has in-race photographers. The finish line was fun because they announced every runner’s name as they crossed, so I felt like a celebrity. We collected our medals and made our way to the refreshment stand, where they had freshly made cinnamon donuts, popcorn, and cold apple cider. We battled a couple of bees to try to eat our snack, but I successfully managed not to get stung in the mouth (which happened to me 3 times as a kid, so I have a bit of a phobia of eating outside with bees buzzing around). I definitely want to do that race again next year. It was a really fun time. Even the people living in the nearby neighborhood that we passed through enjoyed seeing the runners. A few people had tables set up with refreshments they offered us and they were wearing costumes. The T-Rex was a popular choice this year for costumes; one was an adult dressed as one and one was a kid of maybe three or four, both in separate locations.

All in all, it’s been a pretty smooth year. I’m not having near the number of problems I had last year. I’m still really slow and feeling like I’m not making any progress, but I’m enjoying myself anyway. I’ll never be good enough to actually place in a race, so I don’t stress about it too much.

I don’t have any other races planned until New Year’s Eve at midnight, which should be interesting. I’ve been going to bed at 10:30 lately, so I don’t even know if I’ll have a lot of energy to run that late at night, but I’m sure he combination of the cold air and the fun atmosphere will give me enough of a boost. The goal for 2022 is to do a 5k every month, so I’m on the hunt for some fun novelty races. February will be a local hot cocoa run, and March so far looks like it will probably be St. Patrick’s Day themed, but I’m still hunting around. My only requirements for a race is that it has to be a fun one and it has to have finisher medals. What can I say; I like my bling!

Ghost Town Run

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

I really had no interest in getting up early to run today, but I told myself I should do at least 20 minutes. I was tired and a little bit sore from a weekend of bike riding and I just wanted to rest before work in the afternoon. Like every time I feel like I don’t want to run, I was glad I went. I got one of my best paces and I was able to fall into that zen state of mind during those 20 minutes. I ran the whole way through, which had been a while since the summer heat and humidity was brutal here. I had been doing run/walk intervals the last few months, so it was nice to know that I didn’t lose as much conditioning as I thought. These cooler mornings are agreeing with me.

Today being a holiday, it was so quiet on my run that it felt like a ghost town. Usually the main road through downtown has quite a lot of traffic, but I didn’t see many cars at all. It was so quiet that I stepped into the street to snap a photo of the emptiness and the feeble sunrise.

First 5k of 2021!

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey all! I’m a little late in posting this, but I ran my first official race of the year last week! It was an evening race and we started at 7:45pm, but afterward we had free dinner and drinks and a concert to enjoy. I definitely earned that burger and a Coke! It felt so hard running that race, which was a big disappointment after getting a new personal best time the week before that was 9 minutes faster than race day. It was very hot and humid, though, so I’m not being too hard on myself. I took a week off running after the race because I was a little sore, but I’ll return back to running tomorrow. I have another 5k next month that benefits a children’s hospital and will be held after hours at the zoo. I’m looking forward to having a running buddy for the duration of the race. One of my friends is making that one her first 5k, and while she won’t be able to run the whole thing, I promised I’d keep pace with her and cheer her on. It will be nice to have the company on a race. My other running friends are more advanced and run 4 minutes per mile faster than me, so needless to say I can’t keep up. I still love them though! They waited for me at the finish line at every race I’ve done. I couldn’t ask for more support!

Observations of an Overweight Runner

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Running is one of those things that people either love or hate. There seems to be no middle ground (like pineapple on pizza, to which the proper answer is love). I was firmly in the ‘hate it’ category until a little over a year and a half ago. I wanted to take some time to share some observations and experiences I’ve had since becoming a runner, and hopefully encourage those of you who are thinking about running, but aren’t quite sure you want to yet, to give it a try. Running is hard, and it’s really hard if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. I’m looking to lose 72 more pounds, after having already lost 66. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get there. I had always thought running was impossible for me. However, it is absolutely possible to be successful at running if you want it badly enough.

Who Wants to Run Anyway?

I started out losing weight by biking, which I absolutely adore. Back then, I never saw myself as someone who wanted to be a runner. NEVER. I had loathed it since being forced to run track laps in high school gym class, and that made me never want to run again. So, what changed? A couple of years ago, I had Achilles tendon surgery and started working with a physical therapist who made one of my recovery goals running 20 minutes pain free. My PT helped me choose a plan to follow, and while I hated it at first, a few weeks passed and I started looking forward to running. He eventually inspired me to try running a 5k after telling me about his experiences. It was something I had always thought sounded impossible, but it was a good goal for me to work toward. I followed the None to Run plan to get started running, which starts with very short run intervals in between longer walk intervals and builds you up to full out running for 25 minutes over the course of 12 weeks. This was a great way to start, and it really helped ease me in. It was hard for me to run 30 seconds when I first started, but consistency leads to progress, and before I knew it, I was running longer than I ever had in my entire life.

The First Step Truly is the Hardest— But it Gets Easier

The hardest thing about beginning running was taking that first step. It can feel like a huge barrier to cross. I was intimidated to be seen out in public running when I first started. I felt like the whole world was staring at me and judging me while I lugged my body down the street 3 days a week. It was really uncomfortable for me in those early days. I started out running very early in the morning or after dark in the evening to minimize how many people might see me. I was so afraid of someone saying something rude to me or making fun of me because I couldn’t run 30 seconds without feeling out of breath. It took many months to feel comfortable running and not worrying about what someone might think or say. It turns out all that worry was for nothing, though. I’ve encountered so many supportive people in the community on my runs. On many occasions, I’ve had strangers drive by me while I’m running down the street or pass me at the park and tell me I’m doing great or to keep up the hard work. Hearing those words of encouragement really lifts my spirits, especially on a day where I’m struggling.

Support Goes a Long Way

I absolutely don’t mind running alone, but running with other people is amazing. I started running the None to Run plan with one of my closest friends, and we met once a week or so until she moved out of the area. It was awesome sharing our triumphs, and having each other to lean on when we struggled. After she moved, I had no other running friends. I was told about a local running group by my awesome doctor, and I eventually worked up the courage to join. It was a game changer for me. I felt really out of place and slightly embarrassed that first day walking into the park because everyone looked so fit and I clearly wasn’t, but they welcomed me with open arms. I immediately had a built-in support system of people I could ask for advice and celebrate new milestones with. I never would have met any of my running friends otherwise. Even if a running group isn’t for you, I highly suggest a running buddy. It’s nice to have someone who understands what it’s like.

Judgement From Those Who Should be Helping

The hardest part of being an overweight runner is the judgement from the medical community. Most doctors I’ve worked with have been great, but there are always some that I know don’t believe me when I say I’m active 5-6 days a week. Last year, I saw a specialist for an injury that was still bothering me several months after it started, and even though I explained that it was from running, he told me I needed to join a gym, lose weight, and the pain would get better if I worked hard enough at it. I restated that I was a runner and cyclist, and the only thing he had to say to that was that he was glad to hear it because it would help me lose weight. It was at that point that I started to cry, right there in the office. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it. His assumption that I was lazy and didn’t try to better my health despite having stated otherwise was hurtful. That’s not the only example I have, but I think it’s enough to illustrate my point. Now, I’m not saying suggesting weight loss isn’t an answer in the long term, but for an acute injury, I deserve the same treatment for it that someone who isn’t overweight would get. It’s really discouraging when some of the people you turn to for help treat you like you aren’t telling the truth because they think you can’t possibly be active at a larger size. Weight loss isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and consistency, and it’s extremely difficult to keep on track if you’re struggling with injuries that are limiting what you can do.

Clothes Do Not Make You, but Do Help the Confidence

Turning to something not quite so serious, the struggle to find good workout clothes in extended sizes is real. They exist, of course, but I’m talking about clothes that aren’t black or another dark color that are also affordable. A lot of stores don’t even carry extended sizes in their building, or carry only a handful and relegate the rest to online only. Hopefully this will change someday. Clothes obviously aren’t the most important thing about working out, but everyone wants to wear something that makes them feel comfortable and confident. Dressing in something that makes me look and feel amazing gives me a boost throughout my workout. It always struck me as odd that society at large wants overweight people to work out, but makes something as basic as finding quality, affordable activewear in bigger sizes resemble a scavenger hunt. Not only thin people want to work out! If I could magically just change my size, believe me, I would. However, reality dictates that I start where I am, not where I want to end up.

Imposter Syndrome at its Finest

Something else that I struggle with as an overweight runner is imposter syndrome. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I inspire them, and I never quite know how to react. Of course it feels amazing to hear something like that, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m qualified to inspire anyone. I’m just out there doing something I enjoy doing and trying to get better at it. There are many, many people better at running than I am. I’m nowhere near hitting the goals I set for myself this year. I’m not even “average” at running yet, and I can’t wait for the day that I am. I run so slowly that some people can walk faster than me (here’s lookin’ at you, speedwalker who beat me at my last 5k). I don’t have any special talent for running and I’ll never be the best. I just show up and give it my all. The truth is that I’m just too stubborn to quit.

One Last Word

I know that some of these things aren’t just specific to overweight runners, but as someone who still struggles with feeling insecure about my running, I hope I can help someone else not feel so alone. The hardest part about running isn’t the physical challenge, but the mental one. I have no regrets since I became a runner, even though it’s been a tough journey. I love it so much more than I ever thought would have been possible, and it’s really changed my life. I’ve gained confidence, met a lot of awesome people, and know that each and every effort I make takes me one step closer to my goals, even if it isn’t outwardly visible. I look forward to improving much more and finally celebrating the day I can run 5k in less than 40 minutes.

Fear is a Formidable Foe

On By LeraIn LifeLeave a comment

Fear is very controlling. It is something I’ve let stand in my way more times than I care to admit. I’ve been paralyzed because of fear for insignificant things, like talking to someone I don’t know, and for bigger things, like deciding to change careers. Most recently, I conquered one of my fears related to healthcare– the dreaded Pap smear. When I say fear, I mean it. I put it off for over a decade for reasons I won’t get into because it’s hard to think about, but suffice it to say, I should have done this a loooong time ago.

My primary care doctor (Dr. S) has been trying to get me to do the test since I started seeing him a year and a half ago. He’s been really patient with me and knew my reluctance at letting someone do one again. He spent a lot of time talking to me about it at my very first appointment with him in January of last year, and again this past February when I went for my yearly physical and asthma check-in. He never made me feel bad about it and I came close to letting him do the test in February, but chickened out at the last minute. I’ve had other doctors get really annoyed with me that I haven’t had a proper exam in such a long time and one told me to “just get over it already”. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that a response like that was never going to get me to go get it done. Dr. S took the time to discuss the importance of it and even told me a personal story about one of his attendings when he was in residency. He told me just to let him know when I was ready if I wanted to do it in his office, or that I could find a gynecologist. He suggested that it might be easier to see a female doctor for that part of my care. He never pressured me to do something I was clearly uncomfortable with. Usually I don’t care about gender, but since I’ve always somehow had male primary care doctors as an adult, I figured it was worth thinking about finding a specialist who was female. I spent a lot of time researching doctors, and something that made it easier was that my local healthcare system has short videos of the doctors practicing with them answering questions about care philosophy and why they chose the specialty they did. I watched a couple of them, but as soon as I saw the video for the doctor I chose (Dr. L), I knew she was going to be a good fit. I like that she spoke about being proactive and never shying away from asking questions, and her personality seemed so bright and positive. She also has a lot of good patient reviews, which I don’t put a lot of stock in, but the fact that people took time to write glowing reviews of her does mean something.

Now that I had decided on a doctor, the time came to actually call and make an appointment. I was so nervous just calling the office’s phone number that my heart was racing and I could hear the beating in my ears. My hand was shaking a little as I put the phone to my ear and the receptionist answered. All this happened in February, and the first opening she had was five months later in early July. She only has a certain number of new patient appointments, I believe it was just two days a week, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I made the appointment and while I was actually hoping to get something sooner so I didn’t have to sit around and think about it for five months, I think it worked out having it be a way into the future. I spent a lot of time trying to calm the anxiety that crept up every time I thought about the appointment, and I’ll be honest– I actually thought about cancelling, but I resolved to conquer this one way or another.

My appointment was yesterday, and while I was extremely nervous sitting in the waiting area, my nerves calmed down quite a bit for the appointment. I had to answer the questions with the medical assistant first, like any other appointment, and do weight and blood pressure measurements, and then I was shown to an exam room. Dr. L came to talk to me before I had to get changed into a gown, which was nice because it gave us a short chance to get to know one another in what felt like more of a “normal” doctor’s office setting. I felt really comfortable with her from the moment she walked in the room, which is a great relief, because I feel like I could ask her anything without being made to feel strange about it. After we chatted for a few minutes, she left while I changed and came back in a few minutes later. Before each step of the appointment, she told me what she was going to do so I wouldn’t be surprised, and it calmed me down quite a bit. The exam part was easy, but the Pap was a little painful, which is to be expected. It wasn’t horrible or anything, but it did surprise me. After all that was done and I was sitting back up, she gave me a chance to ask questions. She wanted to make sure I had any information I wanted before she left, which was nice.

All in all, everything seemed a lot more daunting in my mind than it actually was in person. It feels great to have conquered that fear. My biggest health goal this year was to get caught up again on my Pap, so I’m really glad I was able to meet my goal. My primary care doctor played a big role in persuading me just by being patient with me and having a discussion with me like I was actually a person and not just part of his job. I probably wouldn’t have done it otherwise. I’m going to make sure to thank him for that next time I have an appointment with him. It’s nice to now have two doctors that I feel comfortable talking with should any issues come up. I’m not exactly thrilled that I need to do this every year, but I am glad to be taking a proactive approach to my health, so in a way, I guess I’m ready. I’m ready to stop letting fear hold me back from things that are important. Fear is a formidable foe.