Tag: Life

Observations of an Overweight Runner

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Running is one of those things that people either love or hate. There seems to be no middle ground (like pineapple on pizza, to which the proper answer is love). I was firmly in the ‘hate it’ category until a little over a year and a half ago. I wanted to take some time to share some observations and experiences I’ve had since becoming a runner, and hopefully encourage those of you who are thinking about running, but aren’t quite sure you want to yet, to give it a try. Running is hard, and it’s really hard if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. I’m looking to lose 72 more pounds, after having already lost 66. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get there. I had always thought running was impossible for me. However, it is absolutely possible to be successful at running if you want it badly enough.

Who Wants to Run Anyway?

I started out losing weight by biking, which I absolutely adore. Back then, I never saw myself as someone who wanted to be a runner. NEVER. I had loathed it since being forced to run track laps in high school gym class, and that made me never want to run again. So, what changed? A couple of years ago, I had Achilles tendon surgery and started working with a physical therapist who made one of my recovery goals running 20 minutes pain free. My PT helped me choose a plan to follow, and while I hated it at first, a few weeks passed and I started looking forward to running. He eventually inspired me to try running a 5k after telling me about his experiences. It was something I had always thought sounded impossible, but it was a good goal for me to work toward. I followed the None to Run plan to get started running, which starts with very short run intervals in between longer walk intervals and builds you up to full out running for 25 minutes over the course of 12 weeks. This was a great way to start, and it really helped ease me in. It was hard for me to run 30 seconds when I first started, but consistency leads to progress, and before I knew it, I was running longer than I ever had in my entire life.

The First Step Truly is the Hardest— But it Gets Easier

The hardest thing about beginning running was taking that first step. It can feel like a huge barrier to cross. I was intimidated to be seen out in public running when I first started. I felt like the whole world was staring at me and judging me while I lugged my body down the street 3 days a week. It was really uncomfortable for me in those early days. I started out running very early in the morning or after dark in the evening to minimize how many people might see me. I was so afraid of someone saying something rude to me or making fun of me because I couldn’t run 30 seconds without feeling out of breath. It took many months to feel comfortable running and not worrying about what someone might think or say. It turns out all that worry was for nothing, though. I’ve encountered so many supportive people in the community on my runs. On many occasions, I’ve had strangers drive by me while I’m running down the street or pass me at the park and tell me I’m doing great or to keep up the hard work. Hearing those words of encouragement really lifts my spirits, especially on a day where I’m struggling.

Support Goes a Long Way

I absolutely don’t mind running alone, but running with other people is amazing. I started running the None to Run plan with one of my closest friends, and we met once a week or so until she moved out of the area. It was awesome sharing our triumphs, and having each other to lean on when we struggled. After she moved, I had no other running friends. I was told about a local running group by my awesome doctor, and I eventually worked up the courage to join. It was a game changer for me. I felt really out of place and slightly embarrassed that first day walking into the park because everyone looked so fit and I clearly wasn’t, but they welcomed me with open arms. I immediately had a built-in support system of people I could ask for advice and celebrate new milestones with. I never would have met any of my running friends otherwise. Even if a running group isn’t for you, I highly suggest a running buddy. It’s nice to have someone who understands what it’s like.

Judgement From Those Who Should be Helping

The hardest part of being an overweight runner is the judgement from the medical community. Most doctors I’ve worked with have been great, but there are always some that I know don’t believe me when I say I’m active 5-6 days a week. Last year, I saw a specialist for an injury that was still bothering me several months after it started, and even though I explained that it was from running, he told me I needed to join a gym, lose weight, and the pain would get better if I worked hard enough at it. I restated that I was a runner and cyclist, and the only thing he had to say to that was that he was glad to hear it because it would help me lose weight. It was at that point that I started to cry, right there in the office. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it. His assumption that I was lazy and didn’t try to better my health despite having stated otherwise was hurtful. That’s not the only example I have, but I think it’s enough to illustrate my point. Now, I’m not saying suggesting weight loss isn’t an answer in the long term, but for an acute injury, I deserve the same treatment for it that someone who isn’t overweight would get. It’s really discouraging when some of the people you turn to for help treat you like you aren’t telling the truth because they think you can’t possibly be active at a larger size. Weight loss isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and consistency, and it’s extremely difficult to keep on track if you’re struggling with injuries that are limiting what you can do.

Clothes Do Not Make You, but Do Help the Confidence

Turning to something not quite so serious, the struggle to find good workout clothes in extended sizes is real. They exist, of course, but I’m talking about clothes that aren’t black or another dark color that are also affordable. A lot of stores don’t even carry extended sizes in their building, or carry only a handful and relegate the rest to online only. Hopefully this will change someday. Clothes obviously aren’t the most important thing about working out, but everyone wants to wear something that makes them feel comfortable and confident. Dressing in something that makes me look and feel amazing gives me a boost throughout my workout. It always struck me as odd that society at large wants overweight people to work out, but makes something as basic as finding quality, affordable activewear in bigger sizes resemble a scavenger hunt. Not only thin people want to work out! If I could magically just change my size, believe me, I would. However, reality dictates that I start where I am, not where I want to end up.

Imposter Syndrome at its Finest

Something else that I struggle with as an overweight runner is imposter syndrome. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I inspire them, and I never quite know how to react. Of course it feels amazing to hear something like that, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m qualified to inspire anyone. I’m just out there doing something I enjoy doing and trying to get better at it. There are many, many people better at running than I am. I’m nowhere near hitting the goals I set for myself this year. I’m not even “average” at running yet, and I can’t wait for the day that I am. I run so slowly that some people can walk faster than me (here’s lookin’ at you, speedwalker who beat me at my last 5k). I don’t have any special talent for running and I’ll never be the best. I just show up and give it my all. The truth is that I’m just too stubborn to quit.

One Last Word

I know that some of these things aren’t just specific to overweight runners, but as someone who still struggles with feeling insecure about my running, I hope I can help someone else not feel so alone. The hardest part about running isn’t the physical challenge, but the mental one. I have no regrets since I became a runner, even though it’s been a tough journey. I love it so much more than I ever thought would have been possible, and it’s really changed my life. I’ve gained confidence, met a lot of awesome people, and know that each and every effort I make takes me one step closer to my goals, even if it isn’t outwardly visible. I look forward to improving much more and finally celebrating the day I can run 5k in less than 40 minutes.

Feelin’ the Heat

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Just a quick update now that summer has finally arrived in Michigan! I got so used to running in the cold that the 80 degree temperatures have been hard to get used to. I’m working in run walk intervals while I acclimate to them, and I have to tell you that running 8 minutes in the heat is hard. However, I’ll get used to it and hopefully be back to trying to beat my PRs again. I’ve been a bit inconsistent with my running the last couple of weeks because of my work schedule, so that’s not helping either. I have two months until my 5k race, and I really want to run it in less than 40 minutes. No matter what happens at that race, though, I’ll have a good time ^__^

“Back” to Pain

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey y’all! It’s been a few weeks since I posted an update. My running hasn’t been progressing too well since I ran that 5k distance last month. I was talking to a much more experienced runner about it and he said it might be wise to back off the training a bit. Having hit two PRs last month left my body feeling tired, and I began struggling to complete a run. Even a mile left me feeling like I was breathing too hard. I switched back to run/walk intervals for the time being—5 minute run and 2 minute walk. I’m going to do that for a bit and gradually increase the running time back up, first to 8 minutes, then to 10 minutes, and keep my 2 minute walk breaks for those new times and see how my body responds. I’m going to increase my total workout time from 35 minutes to 50 minutes gradually with the help of the run/walk intervals, and reassess after that. In a few weeks, I also want to add a 4th run day where I simply run a mile and try to get progressively better times.

That said, I haven’t run in 8 days, unless you count the 3 minutes that I attempted Tuesday. My left back started hurting near my lower ribs 5 days ago, and I just assumed it was a strain of some sort since it hurt with movement or deep breathing. I was content with just treating it on my own until the pain worsened and I felt like I was being stabbed. I made an appointment with Dr. S and he said it could basically be a dozen different things since there’s no other symptoms (he also told me it was too early in his day to have such a tricky problem 😂). I had a test done to rule out kidney stones and that was normal, so for now I’m trying several days of prednisone to see if that calms the pain down any. If so, I’m good to go, and if not, we discussed potential next steps. Hopefully the next time I have to see him will be at the 5k race we’re both doing in August and not sooner. I want to get back to my training plan!

Even though it hurts too much to run this week, I can still bike since once I’m in position, my back doesn’t really move. I rode for over an hour today and it felt glorious to get outside and move. The only bad thing is that a bracket on my bike seat broke in a place that can’t really be replaced without major hassle. I have it duct taped in place for now since it isn’t going to be a safety issue when I’m sitting on it, but I did order a new seat tonight. Chances are if one part broke, others are weak. My bike gets a lot of use! I also need to get a new tire for the back at some point, which in hindsight I should have also ordered tonight. Oh well.

Lastly, I baked some cookies for my physical therapy clinic and dropped them off this morning. It’s been six months since I’ve had to go there, which is the longest I’ve stayed away in the last two years! That’s amazing for me! It’s all thanks to them always going above and beyond to help. If they hadn’t suggested Frankenshoe (getting a 1 inch full sole lift built into my everyday shoes and my running shoes to even out my leg lengths), I doubt I would have gone this long without a major issue. I’m so grateful to have been able to work with people who care so much.

Breaking Records

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Hey guys! Just going to make this a quick update today, but I’ve been working hard on a post I’ll be publishing soon titled ‘The Reality of Being an Overweight Runner’. I’m editing it and trying to get it worded just right.

Things have been going pretty good lately. For once I’m not struggling with any major issues. I’m not 100% at the moment, but doing better than last year so far. My biggest issue has been struggling with my asthma during my workouts. It’s not bad enough to stop my runs, but it does slow me down having to walk in the middle and use my inhaler.

Despite all that, I managed to get my best 5k time today! 46’19” isn’t going to win me a real race, but it’s more than 3 minutes faster than last time! I’m trying my best to run that distance in under 40 minutes by August, so at least I’m making some progress! I’m hurting a little more than usual, but typically I run for 2 miles, so it’s not unexpected. I’m trying to keep increasing my distance so 3 miles is my usual run, but it’s hard balancing what I want vs. what my body is happiest with. It’ll take me several months to get there, but that’s okay if I can run without all the injuries from last year.

Here’s a photo from my run at 7 am! I love early morning runs and watching the sunrise ❤

Baby Steps

On By LeraIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Everything has been going pretty well lately. I’ve been running three times a week again and my body is mostly happy with that. I’ve been having a little trouble with my hamstrings on my right side for the last couple of weeks, and I pulled something back there— maybe a glute? I don’t know exactly what it is I hurt, but it bothers me when I turn my leg inwards. It doesn’t seem to bother me when I run, so I’m going to go ahead and assume I’m safe to do that for now.

Today’s run went really well, and I got a new PR for both 1 mile and 2 miles! My first mile was 13’15” and the second mile was 13’47”, so my 2 mile run today took me 27:07 with an average pace of 13’31”! That’s really good for me! I almost don’t believe it’s true. My ultimate goal is to run a 5k under 40 minutes, but right now 2 miles is exhausting. However, I think I’ll be there at some point this year!

Quick Check-in March 2021

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Forgive me for the lack of updates lately, but there hasn’t been too much to tell. We got hammered with a ton of snow in February, which put a damper on being active as much as I would have liked. All things considered with my history of injuries, it probably didn’t hurt to be forced to take things easy. I only got out to run 3 times last month, and I biked 5 times, so it wasn’t exactly the kind of month where I moved closer to any goals.

I’m ready for winter to be over and the warm weather to come back. It’s been so hard on my asthma to run in the winter. I’ve managed to avoid any major issues, but there have been days where I wondered if I needed extra treatment. Luckily I’ve had a lifetime of managing asthma exacerbations and know that I can safely take an extra dose of my inhaler if need be. That works well for me the vast majority of the time. I haven’t had a bad exacerbation in about a year, which (surprise) was brought on by running in the cold. Unfortunately I don’t have a choice about that. I don’t have a gym membership, nor do I have equipment at home, so the outdoors is my gym. It’s far better than sitting around for 4 months and not doing anything. I honestly don’t know if I could be a treadmill runner. I guess I just like being outside too much.

Injury-wise, I don’t know how I’m doing. My hip flexors are still bothering me enough that I worry about them, but not so much that they’re holding me back. I won’t really know how bad they are until I run consistently again. I’m going to keep it easy in March and slowly increase my distance from 2 miles to 3. Something else that’s been bothering me off and on is my knee. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with it, but it’s been clicking and has been mildly sore at times since November. It isn’t limiting what I can do, but I worry that I’m causing damage. I asked my doctor about it just to be sure I was safe to keep running, and he thinks it might be my kneecap not tracking correctly, or a meniscus issue. We aren’t doing anything about it unless it gets worse, so for now I’m diligently keeping detailed notes in my training journal like always. It’s likely related to my leg length discrepancy, and I was hoping Frankenshoe would do a little more for me than it has been. It’s been helping with some of the pain, especially on my left hip and SI joint, but I thought that by now I’d be seeing more improvement with the other trouble spots. I’ve been using it since the end of December, but it may just take more time. One thing I wish I knew is why my leg length discrepancy wasn’t treated as a child. A one inch difference is a lot. I asked my parents about it and they said the specialist they took me to every six months only ever wanted to do x-rays to keep an eye on it. I was planning to ask the orthopedist I was seeing, but he got all judgmental and somehow forgot I was a runner despite being there for a running injury (https:/lifesaride.home.blog/2020/11/16/feeling-like-giving-up/). Eventually I’ll ask my primary care doctor for a referral to someone, but for now I’ll let him manage anything I may need. Obviously I’m not going back to the orthopedist I was seeing after how he treated me, and the sports medicine appointment I had in the summer was a joke (all talking and no actual poking and prodding my injuries, wanting me to do PT which I had already been trying, and come back in 6 weeks—yeah, didn’t see the point in going back there either).

Anyway, I kind of started ranting a little, but I can’t help it. I’m sure one day all of these struggles will fade into the background. Until then, I’ll just keep trying to do my best like I always do!

Trying Something New

On By LeraIn Life, runningLeave a comment

Last week I reached my limit with my ongoing injuries and pain and called up the physical therapy clinic. I spoke with my PT on the phone about what was going on, and he had me come in so he could do an assessment since it had been about 7 weeks since I was there last. He spent a lot of time looking at everything and started formulating a plan to treat my stuck SI joint and deal with my uneven legs, which he thinks may end up helping. He was careful to say it was his best guess, which I totally understand. I know it isn’t a certainty, but I’m grateful he’s willing to try. I went back a couple days later so we could get to work on treating the problems.

Friday when I was at PT, I was the only patient there because the other one had cancelled. My PT did another assessment and the other therapist that was there was fascinated. The difference between my left and right hip height is very drastic, and he found it really interesting (his exact words were, “WOW! No way!”). The two of them brainstormed together about what might help. Eventually after testing me with different heights under my right foot, my PT made me something temporary to try in my right shoe to make my legs and pelvis even. If my body responds well to it, I’ll have to get my right shoe built up to that height, and if my body doesn’t like it, it’s back to the drawing board. It’s too early to know for sure, but I had a little less pain running this morning. I occasionally have low pain running days, so I don’t know if it was the lifts or just a coincidence. I’m planning to run again Thursday before my appointment so I can at least have two runs worth of info to give my PT.

I’m hoping eventually I can do a lot more trail running. I discussed it at PT and at the moment it’s best not to do it very often because, as my PT put it, my “body would be a mess if I ran trails”. I don’t really mind running on the road because my body likes it more, but my soul likes the forest runs more. Being surrounded by nature on a run is incredibly refreshing.

I also did something new that was fun last week and volunteered for the local Zombie Run. I wanted to run it because there were people dressed like zombies hiding in the woods scaring the runners and it sounded like a lot of fun, but I didn’t want to push myself too much and make anything worse. It was fun seeing race day behind the scenes, though, even though it was freezing that evening. I still felt like I was able to participate in some of the fun. I got to run the registration table and check the runners and volunteer zombies in and out and make sure everyone signed a waiver. We also had 6 extra runners that signed up on race day, so I had to collect payments, too. I enjoyed getting to greet everyone and meet some new people in the process. The next time I’m not running a race that’s being held, I’ll volunteer again. It was a great experience!

5K Training

On By LeraIn Cycling, Life, runningLeave a comment

Somehow yet another month has slipped by without an update. As predicted, I ended up back at physical therapy for all of my injuries. Better to work on them now before they stop me 100% from doing anything, which was the route I was headed down if I continued to ignore them. My PT knows my goal and how determined I am to meet it, so we’ve been aggressive at the stretching, and I started doing some strengthening this week. I’ve managed to keep running 3 days a week out of sheer stubbornness. Usually it hurts some, but no more than when I’m not running, so I’m going to keep at it. I absolutely refuse to stop again unless I’m told by a medical professional that I should. This is the third time in a year I’ve started trying to run, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep at it.

I decided to sign up for the 5k Dr. S told me about, which is hosted by the running group I joined. I can’t believe it’s only 12 days away. Considering I had to cancel the one in February due to injury, saying I’m looking forward to it is an understatement. I can’t even describe how ridiculously excited I am to finally be this close to that goal. I know I won’t be able to run the whole thing because I won’t be done with my training plan, but if I work in intervals, I should be able to run 80% of the time. I’ll push myself to do what I can, but I’m not going to stress out about it. I’ve also cut my cycling down for now to see if that helps the pain and stiffness in my hips and hamstrings. I think my every day bike habit is hindering my ability to rest well enough, so from now until the race, I’m only riding a few days a week and at a slower pace and less time than I’d prefer. It will hopefully be worth it come race day.

Lastly, I really love being part of a running group. I’ve mostly interacted with the members on Facebook, but I was able to make it to one group run so far, and it was awesome. Having some support out there makes a big difference, and there are a mix of beginners and non beginners, so there are people who understand the struggle to start running and people to look up to for future goals. Everyone has been amazing so far. I plan to do two more group runs this week, and I’m really looking forward to it. I’m learning a little about park runs and trail runs through them, and while I’ve only done one trail run so far, I loved it. Being in the woods surrounded by nature was refreshing. I just have to be careful I don’t roll an ankle on the uneven ground, which is why I haven’t been again yet. I do that enough on flat ground to the right ankle, which, as y’all know, already has problems. I don’t need another injury right before my race. I seem to be a magnet for them this past year, and enough is enough.

That’s all I have for now! I’ll let everyone know how my race goes, and maybe even post some photos!!

Fear is a Formidable Foe

On By LeraIn LifeLeave a comment

Fear is very controlling. It is something I’ve let stand in my way more times than I care to admit. I’ve been paralyzed because of fear for insignificant things, like talking to someone I don’t know, and for bigger things, like deciding to change careers. Most recently, I conquered one of my fears related to healthcare– the dreaded Pap smear. When I say fear, I mean it. I put it off for over a decade for reasons I won’t get into because it’s hard to think about, but suffice it to say, I should have done this a loooong time ago.

My primary care doctor (Dr. S) has been trying to get me to do the test since I started seeing him a year and a half ago. He’s been really patient with me and knew my reluctance at letting someone do one again. He spent a lot of time talking to me about it at my very first appointment with him in January of last year, and again this past February when I went for my yearly physical and asthma check-in. He never made me feel bad about it and I came close to letting him do the test in February, but chickened out at the last minute. I’ve had other doctors get really annoyed with me that I haven’t had a proper exam in such a long time and one told me to “just get over it already”. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that a response like that was never going to get me to go get it done. Dr. S took the time to discuss the importance of it and even told me a personal story about one of his attendings when he was in residency. He told me just to let him know when I was ready if I wanted to do it in his office, or that I could find a gynecologist. He suggested that it might be easier to see a female doctor for that part of my care. He never pressured me to do something I was clearly uncomfortable with. Usually I don’t care about gender, but since I’ve always somehow had male primary care doctors as an adult, I figured it was worth thinking about finding a specialist who was female. I spent a lot of time researching doctors, and something that made it easier was that my local healthcare system has short videos of the doctors practicing with them answering questions about care philosophy and why they chose the specialty they did. I watched a couple of them, but as soon as I saw the video for the doctor I chose (Dr. L), I knew she was going to be a good fit. I like that she spoke about being proactive and never shying away from asking questions, and her personality seemed so bright and positive. She also has a lot of good patient reviews, which I don’t put a lot of stock in, but the fact that people took time to write glowing reviews of her does mean something.

Now that I had decided on a doctor, the time came to actually call and make an appointment. I was so nervous just calling the office’s phone number that my heart was racing and I could hear the beating in my ears. My hand was shaking a little as I put the phone to my ear and the receptionist answered. All this happened in February, and the first opening she had was five months later in early July. She only has a certain number of new patient appointments, I believe it was just two days a week, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I made the appointment and while I was actually hoping to get something sooner so I didn’t have to sit around and think about it for five months, I think it worked out having it be a way into the future. I spent a lot of time trying to calm the anxiety that crept up every time I thought about the appointment, and I’ll be honest– I actually thought about cancelling, but I resolved to conquer this one way or another.

My appointment was yesterday, and while I was extremely nervous sitting in the waiting area, my nerves calmed down quite a bit for the appointment. I had to answer the questions with the medical assistant first, like any other appointment, and do weight and blood pressure measurements, and then I was shown to an exam room. Dr. L came to talk to me before I had to get changed into a gown, which was nice because it gave us a short chance to get to know one another in what felt like more of a “normal” doctor’s office setting. I felt really comfortable with her from the moment she walked in the room, which is a great relief, because I feel like I could ask her anything without being made to feel strange about it. After we chatted for a few minutes, she left while I changed and came back in a few minutes later. Before each step of the appointment, she told me what she was going to do so I wouldn’t be surprised, and it calmed me down quite a bit. The exam part was easy, but the Pap was a little painful, which is to be expected. It wasn’t horrible or anything, but it did surprise me. After all that was done and I was sitting back up, she gave me a chance to ask questions. She wanted to make sure I had any information I wanted before she left, which was nice.

All in all, everything seemed a lot more daunting in my mind than it actually was in person. It feels great to have conquered that fear. My biggest health goal this year was to get caught up again on my Pap, so I’m really glad I was able to meet my goal. My primary care doctor played a big role in persuading me just by being patient with me and having a discussion with me like I was actually a person and not just part of his job. I probably wouldn’t have done it otherwise. I’m going to make sure to thank him for that next time I have an appointment with him. It’s nice to now have two doctors that I feel comfortable talking with should any issues come up. I’m not exactly thrilled that I need to do this every year, but I am glad to be taking a proactive approach to my health, so in a way, I guess I’m ready. I’m ready to stop letting fear hold me back from things that are important. Fear is a formidable foe.

It’s Working

On By LeraIn LifeLeave a comment

Occupational therapy is starting to improve my tennis elbow. I’m about to wrap up my fourth week going, and my measurements compared to when I first started are better. There’s still quite a large deficit in strength between my left hand and my right hand, so my therapist and I discussed it and I’ll be going for another month. My pain level is about the same as when I started, but we’re trying to improve my endurance so I can work without it hurting so much. My job can be physically stressful depending on the day, so the endurance will help. I find it kind of strange that the strength in my right hand is so much less than in the left because it doesn’t feel like it is. The only difference I notice is that I drop things a lot more than I used to. My therapist gave me a low resistance band to help strengthen and stabilize my shoulder and some special putty to work on my hand and forearm strength. I’m feeling optimistic that in another month, things should be almost back to normal.