Hey all! I’m a little late in posting this, but I ran my first official race of the year last week! It was an evening race and we started at 7:45pm, but afterward we had free dinner and drinks and a concert to enjoy. I definitely earned that burger and a Coke! It felt so hard running that race, which was a big disappointment after getting a new personal best time the week before that was 9 minutes faster than race day. It was very hot and humid, though, so I’m not being too hard on myself. I took a week off running after the race because I was a little sore, but I’ll return back to running tomorrow. I have another 5k next month that benefits a children’s hospital and will be held after hours at the zoo. I’m looking forward to having a running buddy for the duration of the race. One of my friends is making that one her first 5k, and while she won’t be able to run the whole thing, I promised I’d keep pace with her and cheer her on. It will be nice to have the company on a race. My other running friends are more advanced and run 4 minutes per mile faster than me, so needless to say I can’t keep up. I still love them though! They waited for me at the finish line at every race I’ve done. I couldn’t ask for more support!
Tag: goals
Observations of an Overweight Runner
Running is one of those things that people either love or hate. There seems to be no middle ground (like pineapple on pizza, to which the proper answer is love). I was firmly in the ‘hate it’ category until a little over a year and a half ago. I wanted to take some time to share some observations and experiences I’ve had since becoming a runner, and hopefully encourage those of you who are thinking about running, but aren’t quite sure you want to yet, to give it a try. Running is hard, and it’s really hard if you are carrying a lot of extra weight. I’m looking to lose 72 more pounds, after having already lost 66. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get there. I had always thought running was impossible for me. However, it is absolutely possible to be successful at running if you want it badly enough.
Who Wants to Run Anyway?
I started out losing weight by biking, which I absolutely adore. Back then, I never saw myself as someone who wanted to be a runner. NEVER. I had loathed it since being forced to run track laps in high school gym class, and that made me never want to run again. So, what changed? A couple of years ago, I had Achilles tendon surgery and started working with a physical therapist who made one of my recovery goals running 20 minutes pain free. My PT helped me choose a plan to follow, and while I hated it at first, a few weeks passed and I started looking forward to running. He eventually inspired me to try running a 5k after telling me about his experiences. It was something I had always thought sounded impossible, but it was a good goal for me to work toward. I followed the None to Run plan to get started running, which starts with very short run intervals in between longer walk intervals and builds you up to full out running for 25 minutes over the course of 12 weeks. This was a great way to start, and it really helped ease me in. It was hard for me to run 30 seconds when I first started, but consistency leads to progress, and before I knew it, I was running longer than I ever had in my entire life.
The First Step Truly is the Hardest— But it Gets Easier
The hardest thing about beginning running was taking that first step. It can feel like a huge barrier to cross. I was intimidated to be seen out in public running when I first started. I felt like the whole world was staring at me and judging me while I lugged my body down the street 3 days a week. It was really uncomfortable for me in those early days. I started out running very early in the morning or after dark in the evening to minimize how many people might see me. I was so afraid of someone saying something rude to me or making fun of me because I couldn’t run 30 seconds without feeling out of breath. It took many months to feel comfortable running and not worrying about what someone might think or say. It turns out all that worry was for nothing, though. I’ve encountered so many supportive people in the community on my runs. On many occasions, I’ve had strangers drive by me while I’m running down the street or pass me at the park and tell me I’m doing great or to keep up the hard work. Hearing those words of encouragement really lifts my spirits, especially on a day where I’m struggling.
Support Goes a Long Way
I absolutely don’t mind running alone, but running with other people is amazing. I started running the None to Run plan with one of my closest friends, and we met once a week or so until she moved out of the area. It was awesome sharing our triumphs, and having each other to lean on when we struggled. After she moved, I had no other running friends. I was told about a local running group by my awesome doctor, and I eventually worked up the courage to join. It was a game changer for me. I felt really out of place and slightly embarrassed that first day walking into the park because everyone looked so fit and I clearly wasn’t, but they welcomed me with open arms. I immediately had a built-in support system of people I could ask for advice and celebrate new milestones with. I never would have met any of my running friends otherwise. Even if a running group isn’t for you, I highly suggest a running buddy. It’s nice to have someone who understands what it’s like.
Judgement From Those Who Should be Helping
The hardest part of being an overweight runner is the judgement from the medical community. Most doctors I’ve worked with have been great, but there are always some that I know don’t believe me when I say I’m active 5-6 days a week. Last year, I saw a specialist for an injury that was still bothering me several months after it started, and even though I explained that it was from running, he told me I needed to join a gym, lose weight, and the pain would get better if I worked hard enough at it. I restated that I was a runner and cyclist, and the only thing he had to say to that was that he was glad to hear it because it would help me lose weight. It was at that point that I started to cry, right there in the office. It was embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it. His assumption that I was lazy and didn’t try to better my health despite having stated otherwise was hurtful. That’s not the only example I have, but I think it’s enough to illustrate my point. Now, I’m not saying suggesting weight loss isn’t an answer in the long term, but for an acute injury, I deserve the same treatment for it that someone who isn’t overweight would get. It’s really discouraging when some of the people you turn to for help treat you like you aren’t telling the truth because they think you can’t possibly be active at a larger size. Weight loss isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and consistency, and it’s extremely difficult to keep on track if you’re struggling with injuries that are limiting what you can do.
Clothes Do Not Make You, but Do Help the Confidence
Turning to something not quite so serious, the struggle to find good workout clothes in extended sizes is real. They exist, of course, but I’m talking about clothes that aren’t black or another dark color that are also affordable. A lot of stores don’t even carry extended sizes in their building, or carry only a handful and relegate the rest to online only. Hopefully this will change someday. Clothes obviously aren’t the most important thing about working out, but everyone wants to wear something that makes them feel comfortable and confident. Dressing in something that makes me look and feel amazing gives me a boost throughout my workout. It always struck me as odd that society at large wants overweight people to work out, but makes something as basic as finding quality, affordable activewear in bigger sizes resemble a scavenger hunt. Not only thin people want to work out! If I could magically just change my size, believe me, I would. However, reality dictates that I start where I am, not where I want to end up.
Imposter Syndrome at its Finest
Something else that I struggle with as an overweight runner is imposter syndrome. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I inspire them, and I never quite know how to react. Of course it feels amazing to hear something like that, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m qualified to inspire anyone. I’m just out there doing something I enjoy doing and trying to get better at it. There are many, many people better at running than I am. I’m nowhere near hitting the goals I set for myself this year. I’m not even “average” at running yet, and I can’t wait for the day that I am. I run so slowly that some people can walk faster than me (here’s lookin’ at you, speedwalker who beat me at my last 5k). I don’t have any special talent for running and I’ll never be the best. I just show up and give it my all. The truth is that I’m just too stubborn to quit.
One Last Word
I know that some of these things aren’t just specific to overweight runners, but as someone who still struggles with feeling insecure about my running, I hope I can help someone else not feel so alone. The hardest part about running isn’t the physical challenge, but the mental one. I have no regrets since I became a runner, even though it’s been a tough journey. I love it so much more than I ever thought would have been possible, and it’s really changed my life. I’ve gained confidence, met a lot of awesome people, and know that each and every effort I make takes me one step closer to my goals, even if it isn’t outwardly visible. I look forward to improving much more and finally celebrating the day I can run 5k in less than 40 minutes.
“Back” to Pain
Hey y’all! It’s been a few weeks since I posted an update. My running hasn’t been progressing too well since I ran that 5k distance last month. I was talking to a much more experienced runner about it and he said it might be wise to back off the training a bit. Having hit two PRs last month left my body feeling tired, and I began struggling to complete a run. Even a mile left me feeling like I was breathing too hard. I switched back to run/walk intervals for the time being—5 minute run and 2 minute walk. I’m going to do that for a bit and gradually increase the running time back up, first to 8 minutes, then to 10 minutes, and keep my 2 minute walk breaks for those new times and see how my body responds. I’m going to increase my total workout time from 35 minutes to 50 minutes gradually with the help of the run/walk intervals, and reassess after that. In a few weeks, I also want to add a 4th run day where I simply run a mile and try to get progressively better times.
That said, I haven’t run in 8 days, unless you count the 3 minutes that I attempted Tuesday. My left back started hurting near my lower ribs 5 days ago, and I just assumed it was a strain of some sort since it hurt with movement or deep breathing. I was content with just treating it on my own until the pain worsened and I felt like I was being stabbed. I made an appointment with Dr. S and he said it could basically be a dozen different things since there’s no other symptoms (he also told me it was too early in his day to have such a tricky problem 😂). I had a test done to rule out kidney stones and that was normal, so for now I’m trying several days of prednisone to see if that calms the pain down any. If so, I’m good to go, and if not, we discussed potential next steps. Hopefully the next time I have to see him will be at the 5k race we’re both doing in August and not sooner. I want to get back to my training plan!
Even though it hurts too much to run this week, I can still bike since once I’m in position, my back doesn’t really move. I rode for over an hour today and it felt glorious to get outside and move. The only bad thing is that a bracket on my bike seat broke in a place that can’t really be replaced without major hassle. I have it duct taped in place for now since it isn’t going to be a safety issue when I’m sitting on it, but I did order a new seat tonight. Chances are if one part broke, others are weak. My bike gets a lot of use! I also need to get a new tire for the back at some point, which in hindsight I should have also ordered tonight. Oh well.
Lastly, I baked some cookies for my physical therapy clinic and dropped them off this morning. It’s been six months since I’ve had to go there, which is the longest I’ve stayed away in the last two years! That’s amazing for me! It’s all thanks to them always going above and beyond to help. If they hadn’t suggested Frankenshoe (getting a 1 inch full sole lift built into my everyday shoes and my running shoes to even out my leg lengths), I doubt I would have gone this long without a major issue. I’m so grateful to have been able to work with people who care so much.
Baby Steps
Everything has been going pretty well lately. I’ve been running three times a week again and my body is mostly happy with that. I’ve been having a little trouble with my hamstrings on my right side for the last couple of weeks, and I pulled something back there— maybe a glute? I don’t know exactly what it is I hurt, but it bothers me when I turn my leg inwards. It doesn’t seem to bother me when I run, so I’m going to go ahead and assume I’m safe to do that for now.
Today’s run went really well, and I got a new PR for both 1 mile and 2 miles! My first mile was 13’15” and the second mile was 13’47”, so my 2 mile run today took me 27:07 with an average pace of 13’31”! That’s really good for me! I almost don’t believe it’s true. My ultimate goal is to run a 5k under 40 minutes, but right now 2 miles is exhausting. However, I think I’ll be there at some point this year!
First 5k!
I finally got to experience my first 5k race! Well, it wasn’t much of a race for me since I was super slow, but it’s a stepping stone and it was great motivation to keep trying. Really, my performance was pretty dismal, but I learned a lot.
The morning of the race was warm and clear. I pulled into the park about ten minutes after packet pickup started, and it wasn’t too crowded yet. It gave me some time to get some stretching in without being in anyone’s way. My nerves were on overdrive and I felt my anxiety intensify the closer to the start of the race it got. What helped calm it down some was seeing some people I knew. All together I knew 8 people there, 6 of whom I had met at some of the group runs, while the other two I knew outside of my running group. Having some familiar faces there was nice. I know I have nothing to compare it to, but it’s probably one of the best benefits of a small race. Fourty-four runners came out to race in total.
At the starting line, I stayed near the back of the pack since I knew I would be slow and I’d just get passed in the first 30 seconds anyway. At least I wouldn’t slow down the more serious runners and possibly cause them harm by being an obstacle to go around. When the official call to began was shouted, I was off. I started out way too fast; I felt my pace being set by all the faster people in front of me. After a minute or so, I settled into my usual sloth’s pace, determined not to wear myself out too early. A few days before, I had only just ran 2 miles (in intervals) for the first time, so I knew doing 3.1 would be a huge challenge for me. I did really well at the beginning and ran almost a mile without slowing to a walk. Considering I was only 75% of the way through my training plan, I was happy with that.
Unfortunately things didn’t stay that well for me. I had a hard time when I got a little ways into the woods. I hadn’t trained back there more than twice, so I wasn’t really prepared for more than a third of the race to be on uneven terrain. I wasn’t very far into the woods when the fast group of runners came by on their way back out of the woods, but at least half a dozen of them wished me good luck and told me to keep it up. I did ok back there until I was about halfway through. I was so exhausted and in so much pain from all of my nagging injuries that I walked about half the race. It got worse when I tripped over a tree root and fell, landing on my entire right side. I felt frustration well up inside me and felt tears start to form, but I pushed away all those feelings as quickly as I could and got back up and started running again.
When I finally made it out of the woods, I thought I just had a straight shot from the woods to the finish line, so I locked onto it and willed my body to keep going even though my burning tendons were screaming at me. I was so focused, or maybe just so tired, that I missed the last arrow and didn’t make the final turn. I only realized when I went through the start/finish arch backward that I had made a mistake. No one pointed it out to me, and there wasn’t another runner in front of me to follow because I was so slow. It was frustrating because it felt like I cheated by not completing the whole distance. I finished 40/44 at the race, with a time of 44 minutes, but really it should have been a few minutes more than that if I had actually ran the right direction.
Despite all the difficulty I had during the race, I had a good time. My endurance had built up enough that I should have been able to run the majority of that race by doing short 1 minute walks ocassionally, but my injuries had other ideas. Things were far from ideal, but it was a great feeling to be able to finish and celebrate everything I’ve had to overcome in the 21 months since my surgery. It’s been a harder journey to get to my first 5k than I could have predicted, but it’s been really rewarding. If I hadn’t been going through all these struggles, I probably never would have found out about my running group. It’s only because Dr. S brought it up at my last appointment with him and talked with me about my running struggles that I knew about it. I made sure to thank him when I saw him at the race. I don’t know if he really understands just how much he did for me by suggesting that group. I’ve run with them now more times that I can keep track of anymore, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know some new people. I was motivated to run before I joined that group, but now my motivation is even stronger. Even though it seems like I’m someone who never gives up, it’s been a huge struggle to keep training despite the pain. I’m already planning to do another 5k in November, but I’m taking two weeks off from running at the suggestion of my PT and getting right back into it. So until then, keep working toward whatever it is you’re working toward and attack it head on!
Life's A Ride 